(Irony of William Shatner "seeing into the future as to what a horrible host
MacFarlane will be" makes me nervous sweat....)
I think the Seth MacFarlane (aka Seth ME-Farlane) Show with Special Guest "The Oscars" just ended (note time 6:29 a.m. PT)...I'm not totally sure because I can't be certain as to which non-nominated person was singing or dancing or which homage was being paid to which other non-nominated movie or song. Historically I've found Seth MacFarlane and his sense of humor tip top (a talking Teddy Bear that sings Hootie & the Blowfish Karoake, I mean...bril-li-ant!) However, after watching the miniseries that was the Non-Oscar/Oscar Telecast I found myself almost giddy at the idea of Letterman reviving his Oprah/Uma bit just to provide a much-needed laugh and avoid yet another self-serving horrendous/awkward musical number starring...oh, him again?! Dare I say, I now realize James Franco actually did us a favor by not making his co-hosting duties with Anne Hathaway about him ...at all...the whole night.
I thought the songs were unclever, the sound and his voice uninteresting and the 73-minute opener which had NOTHING to do with any nominees and EVERYTHING to do with William Shatner (never been nominated) and MacFarlane (never gonna host again). Looking back, I realize how viscious Shatner was when he toyed so underhandedly by teasing us that perhaps it was all a dream we'd dreamed and perhaps if we clicked our Jimmy Choos, we'd be right back with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler as hosts -- for every awards show for the rest of time.
I found myself doodling (even shiny things couldn't make me budge from my "I thought this show celebrated the nominees" stooper) more appropriate versions of the best picture nominees:
Life of I. Argh! Go!!! Les Miserables Silver Lining/Schmilver Lining. Detester. Infinite Dark Thirty. The One with the Long Title that No one Saw. Lincoln Shot Himself. Django Unchained Has Left the Building.
There were some surprises such as Jennifer Lawrence winning Best Actress over Jessica Chastain -- take note: "don't piss off American politicians because you found out more than they actually knew in an election year" and Ang Lee winning Best Director (should have been Ben Affleck...oh, wait...should have been Spielberg I do declare these truths to be, well, duh!). Apparently, the visual effects wing turned out in CGI/Avitar droves to vote this year...
However, the real winner here besides Ricky Gervais who might actually have a hosting gig next year now -- is Ben Affleck. Argo was an amazing movie and brilliantly told and for him to get snubbed -- even after he basically committed to everyone that from here on out he was hanging up his acting whatevers that you would hang up as an actor and would just stick to directing (Damon: act. direct. produce. do film, television, whatever you'd like sweet boy. Affleck: direct.) -- sucked. You could see it in his face how redemptive it was to get Best Picture...oh for the love of Cher (who suprisingly didn't have a musical number) Seth is going to sing(ish) another freakin' song?????? (with Kristen Chenoweth who you could tell wasn't feeling her cute, helium-voiced self -- probably out of embarrasment that she had to sing a song that wasn't clever...at all. Popular. Not so much...)
Now that i think about it, it makes sense that there were so many musical numbers because before every performance you could here MacFarlane and the producers warming up: Me, me, me, me, me!
I have one suggestion: perhaps oh Academy folks next year try something really crazy and do a feature or two about the nominees? I know,...crazy talk here but just think about it. The host with the most knows that less is more because four hours of me amore gets old really, really painfully slowly... (Kathryin Bigelow also winner because anyone who watched the telethon last night has probably had it up to their bamboo-stuffed finger nails with "torture" and just wants to move on with their lives and get past the 4 hours that they lost...).
At least Seth will now have plenty of time in his schedule to make Ted2...