October 10, 2012


Now -- please understand that technically a self-service car wash shouldn't provide opportunities to point out what one should or should not do if one is in any kind of customer service role. After all, that would mean I was either using myself as a good/bad example or one of the putzes in the bins to my right or left, yes?  And yes, I'm sure we all understand the ploys said self serv car wash owners use to get us to constantly feed the machine that is frantic in its attempt to make us realize that we simply haven't put enough time on the clock to do all of the things we HAVE to do or at least, auto be doing (yes, I said it).  What?  What do you mean, 'like what does a self serv wash owner do to trick me into feeding a handful of Susan B Anthonies?' (sidebar: i actually had no idea that there was a law in the U.S. that relegated the use of these silver dollars or whatever they are to only self -serv car washes -- ...bless her underused/appreciated silver haert!  Anywho, if you are so lame to not know what i'm talking about then i have 3 words for you (but one is hyphenated so is that technically two words???):  color-changing foam.

Lesson #1 from the "Attendant" whose job it is apparently to simply sit under a little broken umbrella rubbing his gut with his right hand over the stretched out faded polo shirt -- one side of collar always proudly in the up right position -- and sporadically taking his mildewy hat off with his left hand and scratching his makes-me-itch-just-thinking-about-the-oils that have amassed on his head...

Lesson #1:  Let's say a customer comes up to you after putting a second lien on their home to keep the monster fed and tells you that, say, the high pressure rinse cycle in the overall car washing matrix didn't work the entire time he or she was washing the car and you, thus, had been rubbing/scratching.  Here's a multiple choice list from which you can guess what his answer was and then we'll discuss if that was the best way to respond from a "we offer great customer service" standpoint....

a) SON OF A B****
b) Yeah, a lot of people don't know how to work the machine
c) Oh, my goodness, how much did you spend in total the past few times you've come here because i'm simply going to reimburse you for all of those sessions to tell you how sorry i am that you didn't have the most amazing experience of all time today.
d) Might be broken.
e) Um, can't you see I'm busy rubbing/scratching???

Discuss.  And I'll be back with how he actually responded and, thus, how I RESPONDED!!