August 30, 2011

"DANCING WITH THE STARS" ROSTER OF RANDOMNESS


If ever a "cast" of celebrity (and I use the term "celebrity" very loosely here, k?) reality programming were compiled to epitomize the I-can't-stop-watching-the-trainwreck-scene mentality that we could only get from Jerry Springer it would seem the manipulated, random and miscategorized (dancing with the "Stars" -- is George Clooney's ex a "Star"?) new cast that was just announced for Dancing with the Stars season 13 would be the brightest, well, star of them all.

The 12-member lineup, revealed live during the Bachelor Pad telecast, includes Chaz Bono (assumed to be dancing with a girl; Cher's new album coming out soon with lead single being the much-hyped Lady Gaga/Cher duet -- will Chaz's appearance help or hurt?), David Arquette (can't imagine the outfits), Kristin Cavallari (because she's so busy doing??), Nancy Grace (can she actually get the corn cob out of her arse long enough to tango?),  George Clooney's recent ex Elisabetta Canalis, NBA star Ron Artest, actress Ricki Lake, singer Chynna Phillips (from Wilson Phillips), reality star (and brother to Kim) Rob Kardashian (oh, thank goodness we have a dose of Kardashian in this show because i would have felt so detached from that family), Queer Eye's Carson Kressley (isn't this trend so 5-8 seasons ago??), and soap star and Iraqi war veteran (never have a seen a more oxymoronic descriptor...ever) J.R. Martinez.