May 19, 2011

GaGa: I WANT IN ON THE JOKE, SERIOUSLY, JUST WHISPER IT IF YOU HAVE TO....


I saw Lady GaGag at Cherry Lounge in West Hollywood the Summer before she released The Fame.  I had never heard any of her music nor had I ever seen even one pair of Claw pumps.  Six 24 -year-old hipsters from WeHo were going because she was so amazeballs and they invited me (I assume because Cherry was 18 and over that night unless accompanied by a parent).  Nonetheless, she first came out and it was like a hurricane hit and at the center of the fantastic storm was this petite little Italian or Jew (hard to tell because she was only wearing tape) who had no idea that she wasn't playing Madison Square Garden.  There were 400 of us who put down our drinks (non-alcoholic or otherwise) and were baptized into Monsterhood by Mother Monster pre-World-Domination.  I loved everything she was about -- sass, brass, booming voice, interesting song writer, something different with every note -- and yet the her soapbox back then is the same as it is now -- and I  mean that in a good way..."be yourself, don't be afraid to be you 'cause you were born this way, baby."

The Fame was brilliant and The Fame Monster (which, with only 8 tracks on it, got the GRAMMY for Best Pop Vocal Album this past February, mind you, so even the INDUSTRY loves her) even more brilliant.  She finished "Born This Way" almost 8 months ago and it's been sitting in her trunk since. She's been dying to release what she refers to as "the best album ever recorded and I made it for all my little Monsters."  I believed her.  Then I saw her perform "Born This Way" for the first time ever at the GRAMMYs and I thought "How awesome is this -- a little throw back to anthemic, lady-powered early 90s and a ginormous flag-waving, chiffon slice of Gay Heaven that's sure to be THE song of every Pride festival for decades to come (ain't that right Gloria Gaynor?!). Snap.

Then Judas was released. Um, I don't get it. I don't like it.  It kinda sounds a lot like the first one and it kinda sounds like it could be anyone singing it.  Well, no way, it will grow on me.  It didn't. And it didn't grow on radio either. Although it's sales were ok (little monsters will support ANYTHING she does), radio passed on it.  So, now I've heard 5 tracks from "the greatest album ever created" -- Born This Way, Judas, Nothing on But The Radio (i like it),  Edge of Glory (I like it ok but it sounds like all of the other tracks we've heard from Born This Way), and Hair (hate, hate, hate it).  So, seriously, I'm waiting for the punchline, Gaga.  You who has changed the face of pop music, laid the groundwork for successfully utilizing social networking to get the most loyal fans in the history of fandom -- you who has changed the brand game by instead of becoming spokesperson for something, you create entirely new technological capabilities and then put your name on them. That being said I keep waiting for her to come out in some 35-foot tall pair of pumps holding the Born This Way artwork and ripping it all to shreds to reveal completely different artwork -- "Monsters, I was just kidding...the first five singles were all fake -- here is the masterpiece you've been waiting for...I hope you love it!"  the album's not officially out until next Tuesday so there's still time for her to stop with this silliness about this stupid album and really deliver the goods that she's been promising.